Charles - Nineteen Months

Charles turned 19 months old on Monday, and I have been remiss in posting about his growth for a while now. A lot of things I’ll post about he’s been able to do for a while, I just want them to be recorded somewhere.

The biggest area of development for Charles these past months has been physical: the kid who lost his balance while walking in grass last time I posted is long gone, and in his place is some kind of toddler trail runner and mountain climber. He loves to run to “get” someone (chase) or to run away from us as we pretend to “get” him. I’ve kept him out of all kinds of trouble and tantrums by distracting him with a little game of chase. We’ve walked into a room (or just turned around) to see him standing on top of the kitchen table, the coffee table, and the couch, or to be all the way up the stairs way faster than we thought he was capable of moving.  He's also super strong.  Charles can lift a heavy bag of wooden blocks to the table and attempts and succeeds at picking up bulky, heavy things that we didn't expect he could handle.

Thanks to this new physical prowess, he’s had his fair share of tumbles, but this kid is TOUGH. He’s walked right into table edges or face-planted while running on hard floors and just bounced back like nothing happened. We usually try not to react to a fall or potential ouchie (except to go, “Boom! You fell down! You’re okay! Way to go!” as enthusiastically as we can), and if he does burst into tears (which is rarely), we calmly pick him up and pat his back, reassuring him all is well rather than feeding his tears with too much coddling. I’d like to think that’s one reason he handles uh-ohs as well as he does, but maybe he’s just been that cool from birth.

Charles can also interact with objects much more physically than before as well. He really does get into everything, checks it out, and uses it to imitate what we do or does something new and creative with it.  He’s gotten to be a pro at propelling himself (see what I did there?) on riding toys. The one we have here is actually a little wooden Radio Flyer that I had when I was a toddler. (He's also attempted to use it, among other things, as a step stool, which didn't end so well.)  He loves to throw, roll, bounce, and kick balls of all sizes, but especially Trevvor’s full-size soccer ball. He’s learning how to hold out his hands to play “catch” (though he doesn’t really catch it well yet) and is pretty good at throwing it back in our general direction when we open up our hands to do the same. He’s always loved balls and handled them well, but recently it’s gone from merely a fascinating activity to a more competitive game.

I’m starting to see a glimmer of competition in a lot of areas with Charles now--he is DEFINITELY all boy. I can sometimes motivate him to do/eat things by seeing who can do it faster/first. The other times, well, that’s just his super-strong independent streak showing (which I guess I had coming to me). This kid… this kid has a mind of his own. I thought (hoped) maybe it was just normal, but my mom and grandmother have commented on it too, and my grandmother raised and kept a LOT of little ones. Charles always prefers to do things himself, often forcibly removing our hands from his desired object of control. It’s been neat, though, to see him reach a point where he realizes his own limitations and knows how and when to ask for help.

Charles has never been a risk-taker and has always been a more cautious baby (and now full-fledged toddler). He doesn’t dash headlong into anything, which is nice. We don’t have a gate at the top of our stairs, and whenever he gets to the top he will wait for however long it takes for us to get to him to hold his hand coming down. In crowds, he explores, but not too far. He has always been respectful of hot things, whether it’s food or the oven or sun-baked pavement.

Charles loves movement, and he loves things that move. I’ve already mentioned his riding toys, but he’s also a huge fan of swings, and if you turn on some fun music, he is more than likely to move to the rhythm. He is just always on-the-go and moving his whole body at every opportunity. His boyish nature is also coming out in his excitement over cars, trucks, trains, planes, boats, and bicycles. He can identify them all in books, among his toys, and when we’re out and about, and loves either naming them or making their sound.

So vehicles are some of Charles’ favorite words and sounds, but some of his other favorite words are “buuhhhhh” (bug), “raahhhhh” (rock), “suuuuuu” (shoe, to mean he wants to go outside), “nunuhh” (thunder), and “BUUMM” (boom). Again, all boy. He is a fantastic onomotopeaia-maker and can imitate almost any sound, animal or mechanical (like the vaccuum-cleaner or the water-hose). When Trevvor was grilling last week he told Charles, "Careful!  The fire is hot!" and Charles made the sound of a fireman's water-hose like he'd seen in his book!  The mental connections he's able to make astound us all the time. Charles isn’t really into coloring or puzzles yet; he mostly loves to “buhhh” (book) and “baaa” (bath), representing two of his favorite activities, reading (Curious George is his favorite) and water-play. (We just got him a sand-and-water table for the back-yard that he would spend all day at if we let him. The messes are so worth it.) So he enjoys grander play than the kind that requires fine-motor skills, but he did surprise me the other day by threading a wooden bead onto a string! I’d bought the toy earlier and figured it would be a while before he figured it out, but he proved me wrong!

Charles hasn’t started making sentences yet, or even having very many two distinct syllable words, but he signs for his basic needs (for “eat,” “drink,” “more,” “nurse,” and “down,” “diaper”), and uses grunting, tone of voice, pointing, and other body language to express everything else. We’re trying to encourage him to use more spoken words, but we know he will when he’s ready. The kid understands seriously EVERY CONCRETE (as in, non-abstract) THING WE SAY. We have taken to spelling all the content words in a sentence on a regular basis, which is confusing for all of us. It’s really holding us accountable about our speech and our tendency towards couple-gossip (you know, because when you gossip about someone to your spouse, it doesn’t really count… right?). When I’m on the phone and start to wrap up the conversation, he waves “bye-bye” to the person before I’ve even said good-bye! He can just tell from our tone. Isn’t it incredible what a one-year-old has already absorbed in his short life??

Ever since he was eight or nine months, Charles has had a signature wave. It’s just been his thing, and it still is. He loves to blow kisses, give high-fives, and participate in fist-bumps. He’s a very social kid, but he definitely likes to be the approacher rather than the approached. He’ll observe you (and wave at you) for a while before cracking a smile. We’ve noticed that when other little kids stare at him, he gets a bit defensive and barks at them (not like a dog, just like a highly displeased, disgruntled sound in their direction). He doesn’t do that with adults, just other littles. With the lucky few, he is very quick to give kisses (right on the mouth--all or nothing kid), hugs, snuggles, and just generally “gives love.” When he’s feeling rather pitiful, he’ll snuggle on my shoulder and then rub and pat my arm with his hand, just like I pat and rub his back when he’s needing some TLC.

Behaviorally, my serious baby has turned into a super silly toddler, if at times prone to throwing screaming fits, whether at home or walking through Target. (Yep--I was that mom with that tantrum-throwing toddler walking through the supermarket.) He cracks up at a game of peek-a-boo, chase, “creepy mousie,” pokes and tickles, silly sounds, or silly faces. Sometimes he’ll be laughing and kind of lean forward and put his face in his hands, like it’s just too funny to handle. His eyes get all crinkly and he goes from a deep chuckle to a delighted shrieking cackle in an instant. Charles loves to play games and has even started initiating play, like running a ways and turning to wait for us to chase him, or taking us by the hand and leading us to blocks or a ball.

He also leads us to the refrigerator. One of us, possibly me, made the mistake of letting him pick his own snack from the fridge one time, and that was it. Charles used to eat every vegetable we put in front of him, now every meal is something of a battle as his preferences change bite-to-bite. After picking what to eat, he sometimes wants it in his chair, sometimes not (though I try to enforce the chair), with or without bib, with spoon or with fingers, in bowl or on table or from my bowl, or from my spoon. And after all this, he decides he really wants something ELSE from the fridge. I shoot for consistency, but at the end of the day the most important food-thing is that he ate healthy food, and if he wants to eat healthy food standing on his head rather than something not so healthy in his seat with his bib out of his bowl with his spoon, I’m going to focus on getting him to eat the healthy. The past several weeks have been tough because we are doing a family Whole30, so all his (non-gluten) grain snacks that filled him up are off the menu. So he wants to eat every half hour on average. Which is fairly typical toddler behavior, but it gets exhausting. I’m on the hunt for a nibble tray that I can set on a chair and let him much a few things whenever he gets the urge between meals. I’m also more conscientious now of what I keep in the fridge. Fruit is fine, but when we have it available that is ALL he wants to eat, so now we buy very little fruit. And success! He’s staying fuller longer because he’s eating more fats, proteins, and veggies. Baby steps…. 

We’re also taking baby steps in teaching him responsibility and how to help. At this age, he naturally wants to do exactly what Mama and Papa are doing, so that makes it easy to get him involved if we can frame it the right way. We have a few little songs we sing for tidying-up, and he’s responsible for helping us pick up his toys before bed and wipe off the table after a meal. I feel like I’m getting my first glimpses of character training in these moments, and it’s humbling and terrifying. It is at those times I am teaching him how to be a little adult (or at least a little kid on track to becoming a big adult). As we train him to be responsible, to be helpful, to be kind, to be loving, to be grateful, we are more and more aware of our responsibility to train him up in the way he should go, that he is not just a toddler but a future man, husband, father, and warrior for Christ.

Charles is One!

This is a picture of my first glimpse of Charles, and his first glimpse of me.  He looks slightly concerned, but it's one of my favorite pictures of all time.  That tiny, not-so-sure face belongs to a boy who is now one year old.  My boy.  

Charles has changed so much these past weeks.  Right before his birthday, he had a super rough week with sleep and wanting momma.  He went from waking up once a night to waking up like a newborn, not wanting to go down for any naps unless I was holding him, and not even wanting to be left with Trevvor or a grandmother when I walked out of the room.  In hindsight, I think that's when he hit a big developmental jump, because he seems to have shifted from baby to toddler in just that week.  He was also cutting a tooth, which I'm sure didn't help.

Charles at his newborn well-baby check-up

Charles isn't walking yet, but he's getting more adept at cruising around furniture and along walls.  He's learned how to "steer" us when we're walking him holding his hands (and he's quite proud of it).  Trevvor taught him how to swing his legs around to get down off a bed or sofa or lap, and he's really quick at getting up the stairs (even the big flights at Nana & Grandpa's), but isn't sure enough to get back down.  He loves climbing and navigating through small spaces while crawling.

The past couple weeks he's starting scrunching up his nose into the most adorable face, and he tilts his head to one side and grins when he's being impish.  He also has a face for when you ask him to do something he knows how to do (like stick out his tongue), but he doesn't feel like doing it--I wish I could describe it.  He loves playing peekaboo around furniture or curtains, and often initiates it.  When he wants me to stick out my tongue, he pokes at my lips until I get it.  He can wave bye-bye and has a different wave for "hi," usually accompanied by a wide-mouth grin.  He shakes his head for "no," and has really learned to push things (or people) away when he doesn't want them near him.  (The other day he climbed from my arms to Trevvor's then looked at me and pushed my face away with his hand.  Forcefully.  It was like he was saying, "Okay, it's my turn with Papa!")

Charles at his One-Year well-baby check-up

Charles is still nursing throughout the day and once or twice at night.  I love it.  He's quite the acrobatic nursling, so we're trying to teach him nursing "etiquette" without much success.  (He is getting better at lying still on the changing table though.)  His most common solid foods are egg, avocado, meat (salmon, chicken, beef), and whatever veggies we're eating.  He likes sipping coconut milk and he LOVES rice crackers and rice puffs.  Trying to keep grains to a minimum, but it's hard to find healthy non-squishable finger-foods for a one-year-old!  He's started sharing my apples with me after I eat the peel off--his eight little teeth are helping with that!

Charles isn't super independent yet, which I'm not rushing.  He's usually playing right at my feet or I'm wearing him on my back while doing housework.  He loves things with wheels, which is good because he got lots of cars for Christmas and birthday!  He is getting better and better at throwing that ball back and forth and really seems to delight in his skill.  I've loved watching him discover relationships between objects, like that a smaller cup can fit in a bigger one, or this toy can roll through the tube or fit in the hole.  When he figures something like that out, he'll sit and do it over and over and over again, very studiously as if it's the most serious business in the world.  And rightly so:  learning like that is his job right now!

His FAVORITE toys are some little animals.  When he was born, his Uncle Chris gave him a little toy tiger.  It's been sitting on his chest-of-drawers all this time until recently we handed it to him during a diaper change.  He carries that thing everywhere and can even say roar when asked what the tiger says.  So of course Nana got him three more little animals for his birthday last weekend--they're in the picture below.  Tiger is still his favorite, followed by the panda bear.

Playing with his favorite toys:  tiny animals

Charles loves music.  Several months ago he started "dancing" to music when he heard it, and he just keeps adding to his moves!  He dances in his car-seat, while nursing, while eating, while sitting, while standing... Now he's added his arms to the mix and likes to "conduct" the music.  It's. So. Cute.  He got a xylophone for his birthday and he's enjoying making a little music of his own.  I see violin lessons in his future... ;)

Verbally, he's gotten much more chattery with still very few words.  He's had "mama" for a while, and sometimes we'll hear a "baba" (papa), and my mom said last night that he said "nana."  As an English major, I was very excited and proud that his third spontaneous word was "book!"  That was just yesterday.  He's very good at imitating sounds, especially nonsense sounds or animal noises.  He's also repeated "ball" a few times, said "pot" clear as day when I pointed one out to him, as well as some other things once or twice.  Most impressive was when he parroted "danger" back to me--the "d" and the "g" were there at least! ;)  The past few days he's exploded in sounds and parroting skills. He's just soaking it all in.  I'm trying to do better about labeling things now that I know he understands.  He often amazes me with his comprehension.  He has his toy tiger and a stuffed tiger, and earlier today we were standing in front of my parents' fridge and I asked him, "Where's the tiger?" and he pointed to a tiger magnet (that really looks very different from his toys) from the zoo!

Hmm.. other random tidbits... We're still cloth diapering with pre-folds and covers and loving it.  The few times we use disposables I can't wait to get him back in cloth!  Charles has had two fevers, both in December, both were treated very successfully at home.  He's never had any ear infections.  He's had a little bit of a rash on his cheeks and nose and chin at times, usually when he's teething and/or snotty (which often occur together).  His hair is so long now that it really needs a trim, but I can't bear to think of it!  Poor guy... it's in his eyes more often than not.  Charles loves rough-and-tumbling with us on the bed--it's one of his favorite places to play... which, now that I think about it, may not be creating the best association for when he has a "big boy bed" of his own.... Oh well.

Our family, Fall 2013

I just love being Charles' mom.  I have so much fun with my little buddy, and Trevvor does too.  It's not always easy, but thanks to him, each day is the best day of my life.

Happy 2014 from the Clarks!

Greetings, loved ones!

We hope this letter finds you well, content, and full of joy.  Our lives have certainly changed this year, and we’re sure many of yours have as well.  

Our big change has been for the better.  To our great joy, our son, Charles Sebastian, was born on January 18, 2013, at 3:26 in the morning.  He was 7 pounds, 15 ounces and 21 inches long.  It was a healthy, easy pregnancy followed by a natural, challenging, but ultimately wonderful, labor.  What a blur the past eleven months have been!  Charles is such an incredible baby and is fast becoming a little boy.  He sat up at five months, started crawling at seven, and the past couple months has been “pre-walking”--pulling up and cruising around furniture and walking while holding onto our hands.  “Mama” was his first word, and he’s working on “Papa” (but right now it sounds more like “baba”).  He loves playing peek-a-boo, sticking his tongue out, feeding himself, clapping, rolling a ball back and forth, giving high fives, waving bye-bye, and holding spoons (or pens or straws or any other easily graspable object) in each hand.  His favorite things to munch are avocado+banana and kale puffs.  Charles loves being worn on Mama or Papa in the sling, Ergo, or woven wrap--and we love keeping him close!

Trevvor is working at PricewaterhouseCoopers as a tax accountant in downtown Birmingham.  He accepted the position in February 2011 as an associate and last summer was promoted to senior!  In his (rare) spare time when he’s not working or being the most amazing husband and father ever, he has enjoyed trail running, coaching a community soccer team of nine-year-olds, and volunteering at a local coffeeshop.  Trevvor loves learning about coffee and has experimented quite a bit at home with different roasts and brewing methods.  Both of us, but especially Trevvor, love trying new local eateries and hang-outs around town, and there are plenty of good ones to try!  Since we bought our house in 2011, he has also spent a lot of time learning how to update it, and besides painting almost the entire interior, he has also learned to tile floors and install hardwood and trim (not to mention the normal plumbing and electrical projects that are part of home-ownership).  He’s done a fantastic job with everything!

Stephanie gets to stay at home with Master Charles just like she always dreamed of doing when she became a mommy.  Motherhood has been the most difficult and the most wonderful thing she has ever experienced.  She has enjoyed attending local mommy meet-ups with Charles like La Leche League, Babywearing International of Birmingham (aka: The Magic City Slingers), and a local cloth diapering group.  Stephanie loves learning about natural pregnancy, childbirth, parenting, and health.  She is constantly reading about nutrition and alternative health-care so she can better serve her family.  Just recently she has delved into the incredible world of Essential Oils and became a consultant so she can help other families be healthier too.  Stephanie is also a World Vision Child Ambassador and has organized several wonderful events to connect children in need with sponsors who care.  We have continued sponsoring children ourselves, and it is truly a blessing to see them growing and an honor to be part of their precious lives.

We want all of you to know we love you very much, and we hope 2014 brings an opportunity to see each one of you and share a bit of life together.

Love in Christ,

Trevvor, Stephanie, & Charles Clark

Christmas Fever

...And no, I don't mean rabid excitement over everyone's favorite holiday!

We spent Christmas Eve and Day with my parents and brother in Huntsville, per tradition.  This year was a bit different for several reasons:  We were all trying to save money and buck materialism, so gifts weren't as big as usual; we're all trying to eat healthier (and still recovering from prepping our giant Thanksgiving meal), so the food was pretty basic; and--oh yeah!--this year we had a baby to enjoy Christmas with!

But baby Charles' body didn't know it was supposed to feel good for such a joyful occasion, and so Christmas Eve he woke up with only his second fever ever.  His first fever was a couple of weeks ago, and had he not been too warm, I never would have known he was ill.  This time was a bit different--he obviously didn't feel well at all, and he was pretty pitiful for the rest of the day.

Both fevers seemed to be related to constipation and teething, and the Christmas fever added some congestion to the mix.  Both were under 48 hours, and both were relieved when he finally did have a good diaper-full.

I didn't run for a fever-reducing medication at the first sign of a temperature, though I monitored it fairly closely.  We've learned that fevers are a symptom, not a disease and that you should treat the baby, not the symptom.  That means that 1) fevers have a purpose and are a vital part of our body's immune response, so suppressing fever is actually suppressing the immune system, and that 2) since in both cases Charles was handling the fever just fine--no screaming, no extreme lethargy, no glazed eyes or bulging fontanel--we should let it run its course while trying to keep him as comfortable as possible and supporting his little body's efforts to heal itself.

I'm still learning how to do that well, but these are the measures we took to help him:

• We wore him a lot while he was feeling icky, which both comforted him and helped his body regulate its temperature and immune response.
• Since he still nurses for over half his food, we went back to a "liquid only" diet of breast-milk and sips of water to allow his body to focus its energies on healing rather than digesting food (and since constipation was also a problem, he didn't need to be packing any more solid food in there!).
• We pulled out our new Essential Oils and boosted his immune system with Thieves, comforted him with Lavender, and helped manage his fever with Peppermint.  We applied the oils (diluted in coconut oil) to the soles of his feet, the back of his neck, and behind his ears, and we also diffused the same blend into the air.
• We tried to keep the atmosphere calm and relaxing--soft lights, no extra noise, and little stimulation.
• Since constipation seemed to be the main known issue, we tried to help him have a BM by massaging his little tummy with Peppermint oil and encouraging the intake of liquids.

That's about it!  Both times he's recovered well and seemingly quickly--and by Christmas morning, though not 100%, he felt well enough to enjoy opening his presents!  Hopefully we'll post pictures of that fun time soon.

How do you help your child when he/she has a fever?

This is his "I really don't feel good, and this silly hat isn't helping" face

On Disconnecting

I got my first Droid at the end of 2010.  It was great.  I downloaded all these apps, stayed on top of things on Facebook, found my way around with Google Maps, discovered geo-caching and Yelping, calorie tracking, Instagram, Pandora in my pocket, etc.  It became like a third arm or something.  A tool for my life.

But over time I noticed that it was stealing my life.  In little 30-second blips.  Ten-minute breaks.  A check-in here, a tweet there.  Tick, tick, tick.

I considered getting rid of it before Charles was born, but then when he arrived, I absolutely relied on it to get anything done at all.  He was a very "in arms" baby, and my days at home were spent in our ugly but oh-so-comfy plaid rocker, holding him as he nursed and slept, with phone in-hand.  It was great, and I'm glad I had it during that time.

But as he started needing more interaction, more eye-contact, I started to realize that I was putting him off so I could scroll a bit more through Facebook or finish watching that YouTube video.  But I didn't want to give it up!  I used it to upload pictures of him to Instagram, right?  And to stay in touch with other mommas and get advice about him, didn't I?  So really it was good for Charles that I had it... wasn't it?

Yet the feeling that I was loosing moments of his babyhood to this hypnotic screen kept nagging me.

It didn't take long for Charles to become preoccupied with the screen too, and to reach for it and stare at it right along with me.  I didn't like that at all.  I didn't want him to be like all those kids--even toddlers--with the iPods glued to their hands all day.  I didn't want it to be a digital pacifier, an easy way to keep him quiet while ignoring whatever real need he wanted met.  I don't want him to be the two-year-old that's fluent in touch-screen-ese.

So last week we bought a used flip-phone on eBay.  Today we went to the Verizon store and "down-graded" my account.  And I am now the proud user of a Samsung Convoy 2.  I feel so free--it's such a relief to be un-tethered.  It's been a strange afternoon; I keep pulling it out to "do something" with it, but there's nothing to do except text folks (because who actually uses to a cell phone to call people anymore, right?) and take the occasional picture with the okay-camera.

I want to be fully present with my family, just as I want them to be fully present with me.  It will definitely be an adjustment, but I feel I've made a good decision.  

Teething Time! And other random tidbits.

Whew--this is the beginning of a fun ride!  Our normally content, happy-go-lucky baby has become quite a cranky-pants over the weekend.  I've been blaming minor fussiness on "teething" for weeks simply because it was so strange for him to be fussy (unless he was hungry or overtired, obviously, but once his needs were met he was fine).  But this is something else entirely!
So far we've given him a frozen wet washcloth to chew on, pulled out the chilled Green Sprouts teether from the fridge, had him wear his amber necklace, and yesterday finally resorted to giving him two Hylands teething tabs.  Gave him two more again this morning, and after both doses, he was immediately ready to fall asleep.  Poor guy.  :(

On a more positive and cuter note, Charles has been quite the chatterbox the past few weeks.  He was a silent baby for a while, but when we got home from our West Virginia/Pennsylvania trip at the beginning of June, he found his precious little voice.  Every day his sounds get more purposeful, articulate, and varied.  I love hearing him jabber!

He's also just started reaching out towards us.  Often when Trevvor is holding him and he's fussing because he's ready to eat, he'll smile at me and reach towards my face with his precious hands when I come into view.  He's also begun to lift his arms up when he's ready to be picked up--not obviously or insistently like older babies, but there's a definite reaching toward us.

Right about when he turned five months old last week, he started to show signs of "stranger, danger!" mode. It's so pitiful, but also gratifying that he sometimes feels safe with Trevvor and I when he doesn't with anyone else.  I've waited so long to be preferred by a baby as only a momma can be preferred.

I'm really excited to start solids with him in a few weeks.  I'm trying to resist.  Not because I'm tired of nursing--I LOVE nursing--but because Trevvor and I love food and we can't wait to share it with him!  I've got the bibs, little bowls, spoons, and sippy cup all ready to go.  (I am letting him experiment with some water in his sippy cup, especially since it's been so hot.  Not sure how much he's actually swallowed, but he enjoys gumming the nub.)  I also want to get one of those mesh feeder things so I can give him more raw, fresh food to gum on before introducing cooked items.  Apparently they're also great for teething since you can freeze fresh fruits and let them nom on them through the mesh without risk of choking.

The other day he started opening and closing his mouth, working that little jaw, kind of like a fish.  He often does it while watching our faces, so I'm not sure if he's trying to copy us talking or eating!  Either way, it's kind of adorable.  :D

One more cute thing!  He's just started rubbing his soft head while he nurses.  It's precious.  His little hand just rubs and rubs his hair, especially when he's sleepy.

He's also begun chewing on his tiny toes!

Anyway, I suppose that's enough random gushing for one post!  I just feel like I need to be doing so much better about documenting and sharing all these adorable developments!