Fleeing Negativity

I guess I'm just weird.  ("Well, duh," you're thinking.)  But it seems that I am fighting a lot of battles on Facebook, battles which have no victor, no matter who gets the last word.  Whether it was religion, politics, mommy-decisions, health, or just daily observations, it seemed that whatever I posted, someone would usually respond negatively, either in a comment or message. (I want to know:  Where are these repeat-challengers when I try to find sponsors for a child in need?  Hmm...)

And that's okay.  I mean, I posted it, so if I didn't want a discussion, well... I shouldn't have posted it.  But I couldn't let things drop, so I would get all worked up, and things would go on and on, and when that battle was over, there would be another waiting just a short scroll down my Newsfeed.

It's just not worth it.

It was draining me, pulling me down.  Were some of these discussions worth having?  Sure.  Does that mean that it's the best thing for me to continue having them?  Maybe not right now.  I am just so tired of having my every decision and opinion and viewpoint challenged by someone somewhere for some reason.  So tired.  Not as in "annoyed," but as in literally "exhausted."  I want to be able to relax and not constantly be on the defense for everything I believe in.

So I'm taking a breather.  I'm trying to figure out how to temporarily delete my account for at least the rest of the month.  First my Droid, now Facebook... I guess I really am a (weird) hippie.  ;)

If you need me, you know where to find me!

Let My Heart Be Broken

About four years ago we began sponsoring two children through World Vision--Dushankini (11, Sri Lanka) and Juan Carlos (11, Guatemala).  Beginning relationships with these children made me aware of the very real need in this world, and it showed me that though I couldn't meet every need, I could meet their needs.

In early 2012, we had been wanting a baby for several years, but were yet childless.  "Alright," I thought, "If I can't care for my own baby, at least I can help more mommas care for theirs!"  So I became a World Vision child ambassador and began sharing sponsorship and the stories of dozens of children with the people in my community.  Praise God, I was able to connect six children with sponsors last summer--that was six lives changed.

About that time, the Lord blessed us with a baby!  We were pregnant!  My focus shifted to my child and preparing for him, and once he was born, I was overwhelmed with meeting his needs.  Recently, though, as I've finally settled into motherhood, the needs of World Vision children began pressing themselves upon my consciousness.  As a new mother, it broke my heart to think of mommas all around the world who could not meet the basic needs of their babies.  I wanted to help them care for their children just as I would hope someone would help me.  It was time to get back out of my bubble and share their stories.

So that's what I've been doing.  I've been telling as many people as will listen that sponsorship not only changes the life of a child, it impacts the lives of their families and communities.  That World Vision works hand-in-hand with a community's leaders to cast a vision for the future and take steps to make that community self-sufficient, so that its members can live lives of independence and dignity.  That over 20,000 children die every single day from preventable causes related to poverty, and we can help lower that number if we work together, changing one life at a time.  That World Vision has been working towards this goal for over 50 years, helping over 100,000 people in more than 100 countries around the world.  That you can trust World Vision to use your gifts with wisdom and integrity, because 85% goes directly to the people in need, with only 5% going to management and 10% going to fundraising.

Needs such as a community well, new or rebuilt schools, public latrines, agriculture, animal husbandry, prenatal & baby care, improved nutrition, health care, literacy programs, and assistance with starting small businesses are being met every day because of people like you.  People who aren't "rich" in society's eyes, but have so much to give to people in need.  People who have decided to make small sacrifices in their monthly living so that an entire community can be impacted, so that Christ's love can be shown to the poorest of the poor.

Because Christ loves the poor.  This is evident throughout the New Testament, and throughout the Old.  Should our hearts not be broken by the things which break His?  Will you be the one to change a life today?

There are several ways you can sponsor a child.  I have picture folders of children around the world who need sponsors, and for the next month it is my responsibility to find sponsors for 30 of them.  There are also two websites you can visit:
http://myshare.worldvision.org/stephanieclark
&
http://tiny.cc/stephanieclark

Pray about this, and know that though $35 a month may seem like a lot to us, it means even more to these kids.

On Disconnecting

I got my first Droid at the end of 2010.  It was great.  I downloaded all these apps, stayed on top of things on Facebook, found my way around with Google Maps, discovered geo-caching and Yelping, calorie tracking, Instagram, Pandora in my pocket, etc.  It became like a third arm or something.  A tool for my life.

But over time I noticed that it was stealing my life.  In little 30-second blips.  Ten-minute breaks.  A check-in here, a tweet there.  Tick, tick, tick.

I considered getting rid of it before Charles was born, but then when he arrived, I absolutely relied on it to get anything done at all.  He was a very "in arms" baby, and my days at home were spent in our ugly but oh-so-comfy plaid rocker, holding him as he nursed and slept, with phone in-hand.  It was great, and I'm glad I had it during that time.

But as he started needing more interaction, more eye-contact, I started to realize that I was putting him off so I could scroll a bit more through Facebook or finish watching that YouTube video.  But I didn't want to give it up!  I used it to upload pictures of him to Instagram, right?  And to stay in touch with other mommas and get advice about him, didn't I?  So really it was good for Charles that I had it... wasn't it?

Yet the feeling that I was loosing moments of his babyhood to this hypnotic screen kept nagging me.

It didn't take long for Charles to become preoccupied with the screen too, and to reach for it and stare at it right along with me.  I didn't like that at all.  I didn't want him to be like all those kids--even toddlers--with the iPods glued to their hands all day.  I didn't want it to be a digital pacifier, an easy way to keep him quiet while ignoring whatever real need he wanted met.  I don't want him to be the two-year-old that's fluent in touch-screen-ese.

So last week we bought a used flip-phone on eBay.  Today we went to the Verizon store and "down-graded" my account.  And I am now the proud user of a Samsung Convoy 2.  I feel so free--it's such a relief to be un-tethered.  It's been a strange afternoon; I keep pulling it out to "do something" with it, but there's nothing to do except text folks (because who actually uses to a cell phone to call people anymore, right?) and take the occasional picture with the okay-camera.

I want to be fully present with my family, just as I want them to be fully present with me.  It will definitely be an adjustment, but I feel I've made a good decision.  

Big Changes for Little Charles

Well, Charles turned seven months old a week ago today.  I can honestly say that I can tell a difference--he seems like a different baby.

This week, Charles:
- learned to crawl,
- started pulling up to standing in his crib,
- dropped from three naps a day to two,
- began to babble ba ba ba...
- and has discovered he has a will of his own.

Crawling began in earnest on Monday, and each day he's progressed more and more from commando to all-fours.  He's not all that adept or quick quite yet, but he's mobile.  It's definitely upped my game (and made me so much more aware of how dirty my floors are--eww).  He can also switch from sitting to crawling and crawling back to sitting, which has made my life a bit easier since I don't have to stop and rearrange him every few minutes.

Pulling up in his crib is adorable, but has caused a problem in the whole napping department.  Before, if he woke up after I laid him down, he would fuss for a bit and go back to sleep.  Now, he pulls himself up, so obviously that makes falling back to sleep a bit more complicated....

Dayime sleep in general has been rather elusive for the poor kid, and I finally realized he was dropping that third nap.  He's sleeping a bit longer at night and typically only wakes up once or twice between 8:00 PM and 6:00 AM.  Some days he fights taking any naps--he either won't fall asleep in the first place or will quickly awaken when put down and not fall asleep again like he used to. His room is pretty bright during the day, but that hasn't seemed to be a problem until, possibly, now.

He's also really starting to add consonants to his babbling, though no definite "mama" or "papa" yet.  It mostly sounds like he's trying to say "ball," which I suppose is possible (a favorite game is rolling the ball back and forth).  He's at about the point where babies start realizing sounds have some real-word counterpart (i.e., symbol and reference, to get all academic).  I'm kind of geeking out about it.

Most challenging and also exciting is the fact that Charles is discovering he is himself.  We've seen a few temper fits this week (he's not a fan of being taken out of his bath-time splashing).  I'm beginning to tell him no and set some boundaries (no yanking on momma's nose, for example).  The easy part of parenting is over, and the training--for parent and child--is just beginning.

Just because we can...

I had a conversation the other day with a fellow believer who pointed out that the Lord has given us the ability to grow more crops per acre, grow bigger animals for more meat, etc., so therefore we should use that ability to provide more food for a growing population, seemingly no matter what the long-term cost.  The end justifies the means, as it were.

(We were discussing how conservative believers aren't very "green," and those of you who know me are probably pretty aware that Trevvor and I are something of Christian Hippies.  I had been saying that our bodies are temples and the earth is the Lord's creation, and it is possibly sinful to knowingly fill either with toxins.)

I've heard this argument before--God gave us brains, so let's use them!  Well, yes.  I agree.  But we can use those brains for destroying just as easily as for building up.  We have the mental capacity to come up with all sorts of creative ways to kill people en masse (atomic bomb? gas chambers? chemical warfare?--modern man is not immune to creative atrocities any more than our barbarian ancestors).  We have the mental capacity to both kill an unborn child and find a way to make it seem reasonable, even moral, to do so.  We can use stem cells from aborted babies to make medical breakthroughs that would help thousands, tens of thousands!  God gave us brains--let's use them!  Right?

Perhaps not.

Such farming practices such as the ones that allow us to feed more people now are simply unsustainable and will make the earth unable to feed a greater population later.  Do we not have a responsibility towards our children's children as much as we do to ourselves?  Especially since it is false that the current population cannot be fed using sustainable means?  If we focused more on nutrition rather than calories, on growing vegetables and fruits rather than excessive meat and sugarcane, we would have more than enough truly healthful food for everyone today without poisoning the land for everyone in the future.

(As a side note, I'll take the opportunity to throw in here that Westerners are selfish to demand that completely unnecessary food-stuffs such as sugar--which has NO nutritional value and is drug-like in addictive powers--be grown on such a scale.  Not to mention meat, coffee, and chocolate--and don't get me started on corn and soy!--which are not completely devoid of value but are over-consumed to such an extent to have ruined traditional farming practices all over the world in undeveloped countries, which grow luxuries [and nutritionally empty calories] for us at the expense of not being able to grow necessities for themselves. Moderation, people!)

And while I'm already ranting a bit, let me address another argument against caring for creation.  I've heard it said that man will not destroy the earth because God will one day do so, therefore it doesn't matter what man does, the world won't be destroyed until God wills it so.
Really?
That's like saying, "I'm not going to die until it's God's time for me to die, so it doesn't matter what risky behavior I engage in, what I eat, how active I am, or how I care for my body at all.  God's in control, so I don't have to take care of myself--I'll just die when He's ready for me."
In both cases, the speaker is correct.  God will destroy the earth of His own accord, and He will bring us home when He wants us home.  It doesn't matter what we do.  But that doesn't remove from us the burden of caring for that which He has created, be it our fleshly temples or the entire world.

Back to the original point.

No, I do not believe that God gave us brains so that we could poison ourselves, so that we could be so short-sighted as to think that what we do now to maintain our current comfortable lifestyles--Western diet included--won't be devastating for the future.  We have the brain power to have our (lightly sweetened) cake and eat it too!  We can use the brains God gave us to keep His earth pure and our bodies along with it, while still feeding all the precious souls which fill His creation.  It does not have to be one or the other.  Don't use God as an excuse not to dig deeper, to keep searching for more sustainable solutions, to admit that maybe those liberal pagan tree-huggers could have a point.

Yes, we can do all these toxic things in the name of God and science.  But just because we can, doesn't mean we should.

'“All things are lawful,” but not all things are helpful. “All things are lawful,” but not all things build up.' - 1 Corinthians 10:23